Meanwhile, in Sweden...

Lap Dance research officer required

It was reported on The Telegraph Friday that Leeds University's School of Sociology and Social Policy, is looking for a “Research Officer - The rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the night time economy”.

The successful applicant would work on a research project to examine the “rise, tolerance and integration of sexual consumption and sexual labour displayed through the erotic dance industry”, and the commercialisation of female sexuality and the female body. It's purpose is to determine where dancers are recruited from and what their working conditions are like, as well as examining how erotic dancing has become a “mainstream” entertainment, available on the high street of most British cities.

The advertisement further stipulates that “prior experience of conducting research in the female sex industry” is essential. I wonder if actually going down to strip joint with the boys counts?

Read Job reference: 316199 for yourself.

Tokyo man marries game character

Sometimes a link comes across my desk that I find so bizarre I just have to share it with folk!

Apparently a man in Tokyo who calls himself SAL9000 [I have no explanation for that, so don't ask, it may be an in-game handle] has married his virtual girlfriend from the game Love Plus. The man is reported to have fallen in love with one Nene Anegasaki [if that's not her on the left, then it's one of the other two girls in the game, but you get the idea] one of the games characters whom he then took to Guam for a legal ceremony and honeymoon - or rather he took his Nintendo DS with him as it's on that device on which his "bride" exists.

Love Plus, requires players to take out the virtual girl on dates, buy her gifts and make them happy. The player can increase their abilities by studying, working out and solving the problems of their virtual girlfriend, but if they fail to make their girlfriend happy, the game restarts after 100 days.

SAL9000 livecast the vacation on Japanese video-sharing site Nico Nico Douga and he intends to also livecast the public wedding reception back in Tokyo.

The story broke on Boing Boing.

I'm waiting for some really obvious comments below :)

Source: Grunt / Fox News / Boing Boing

Ireland devastated by severe flooding

Ireland is tonight bracing itself for more heavy rains which brought devastation to parts of the country earlier. Environment Minister John Gormley said it would not be possible to gauge the full scale of the damage in Cork, Galway and Clare until the middle of the week. “I think it’s fair to say what we are experiencing at the moment is unprecedented,” he said.

Much of Cork City was seriously flooded in the early hours of Friday morning causing an estimated €100m in damage. Damage to the main city pumping station at the Lee Fields means that most of the Northside of the Cork will be without water until next weekend. Several main roads and streets in Galway, Cork, Limerick and Clonmel, Co Tipperary, remained impassable at sections during the day.

Flooding in Cork City.

Hundreds of people evacuated from their homes in Ballinasloe, Co Galway and Ennis, Co Clare, have not been allowed to return to their homes. Iarnrod Eireann said services were disrupted on the Galway, Sligo, Rosslare and Limerick to Ennis lines. Eircom said it has restored service to more than 20,000 customers over the weekend but 4,700 more remain without a connection because of flood and storm damage. The Defence Forces have been deployed to some of the worst hit areas to help local emergency services, and remain on high alert should conditions deteriorate.

Speaking after a meeting of the government’s Emergency Response Co-Ordination Committee, An Taoiseach Brian Cowen warned that high tides and further heavy rainfall were being forecast for tomorrow and Tuesday.

Colonel "Whopper" Creedon himself is reported to be without a running water supply, but as UNETIDA's Special Operations Bunker 14 is equipped with days of emergency supplies in the event of Extraterrestrials compromising the planetary defence grid or the Zompocalypse; it is not as disastrously affected as others.

It's great to be right, but the price was too high :(

Regular readers will all know how much I "love" the french. However, I regularly come under fire for this love. People claim I'm "over-reacting" and have an "unnecessary degree" of loathing for the french. Today however that changed; it was as if overnight my family, friends, colleagues and the media all began to agree with me in unison. Today people understood what I had been trying to make them understand for years. Today they understood that the french are just a pack of cunts.

Last evening in the Stade De france during extra time after a tied score during a 2010 World Cup qualifier soccer match between Ireland and france; one Thierry "Le Cunt" Henry [as he's now known from this Wikipedia page]...
...did hand the ball to his Froggie teammate who scored the winning goal - automatically eliminating Ireland from qualifying for the World Cup tournament.

The outpouring of anger towards the man today was staggering. The entire country was in a frenzied grip of National hatred directed at france and Henry [pronounced Hon-REE - you know in that stupid french way?] in particular. National broadcasters gave their opinion on the travesty. There were dozens of hilariously photoshopped E-Mail images created and sent to and fro from every corner of the country; one of our prominent comedians Dara O'Briain said he will no longer accept french Fries in McDonalds - now demanding "Saoirse Fries" [a nod to the yanks attempt to rename "Freedom Fries" etc.]; there was a cover of A-Ha's "Take On Me" song played on our airwaves which substituted the lyrics "We Hate Henry." It was such a wonderful day and it filled my heart with pure joy. I'll admit, I was almost moved to tears.

It's interesting to note that I did not encounter any such problems with Sweeden. You see the obviously blind referee and his equally inept assistants were Sweedish. I did see that that the Sweedish tabloid press tore strips off them for their performance [or lack thereof]. A leading Sweedish newspaper also issued a formal apology to the Irish people. However I still don't understand why there was practically no backlash against the Swee... oh wait - now I remember:

Earth calling Mars!

The fine fellows at Letters of Note recently uncovered a document from 1924 which highlights just how far back the possibility of alien life has been taken seriously by governments and the military. Some 70 years before the fomation of UNETIDA, SECDEF Curtis Dwight Wilbur sent a telegram instructing all Naval stations to monitor the airwaves for any unusual transmissions due to anticipated contact from Martians.

The reason for this was that on August 22nd of that year, the closest Mars opposition since 1804 [a mere 55.7 million km], and as such provided desirable conditions in which to receive radio signals from the Red Planet.

And just in case you think it stops there? I could tell you about some crazy shit SECDEF John Lehman had me looking for during the Regan era - sheesh!

RIP: Edward Albert Arthur Woodward OBE

The passing of the great actor Edward Woodward [79] from pneumonia today has not gone unnoticed. Woodward played many notable characters on the silver screen, he was Sgt. Howie in The Wicker Man [1973], Commander Powell in Who Dares Wins [1982] and more recently had supporting role as Tom Weaver in the Whopper Award-Winning Hot Fuzz [2007].

Woodward continued acting up to his illness earlier in the year completing work on A Congregation Of Ghosts currently in post production for director Mark Collicot in which he plays the lead role of an eccentric vicar who is said to have alienated his congregation and preached to cardboard cut-outs.

Woodward was arguably more successful on the small screen and made appearences in both Eastenders and The Bill in the past 2 years. He played the title role in the 1960's spy series Callan and Harry Malone in the short lived CI5: The New Professionals in 1999. He will of course be best known for playing Robert McCall in all 87 episodes of the 1980's show The Equalizer.

May he rest in peace.

Next Phase of Skynet's plan proceeds

According to Fox News; Armies of robotic drones just like Skynet's may be just around the corner. The U.S. Navy is developing unmanned fighting vehicles that network together and operate in "swarms." These drones have proven one of the most effective — and yet most controversial — weapons in the arsenal. Officials credit the use of Predator drones with guided missiles, with eliminating a senior terrorist leaders beyond the reach of ground forces in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

Until now, a UAV had been controlled remotely by a human over satellite link, but they were unable to communicate with each other until in a demonstration last week, NAVAIR linked unmanned drones, including air and ground vehicles, into unmanned squadrons with a single person operating all six vehicles.

"It's an initiative to coordinate air vehicles with ground vehicles or each other," says Ward Carroll, editor of Military.com. "Instead of six guys controlling six UAVs, you've got one guy controlling six. This optimizes use of available resources in any battlespace."

Patrick Esposito, president of Augusta Systems who created the intelligent network device that made this possible; said swarming algorithms "are driven by digital pheromone-based maps of the area in which the swarms are operating. This is similar to the reasoning used by insects, which was the inspiration for the swarming concept."

Carroll thinks linked groups of vehicles are the future of combat drones. "UAVs are cool but we're not utilizing them effectively," he points out. The USAF has 7,000 UAVs and they need "to start thinking about midair collisions, interaction, saving intel, and so on.

Read the full story here.

Source: Fox News / Eamo

Veterans Day 2009

Today is either Veteran's Day, Remembrance Day or Armistice Day depending on your part of the world. I request only that, if you see a veteran today that you thank them for their service. It will mean a lot.

Happy 234th Birthday USMC

And once again we have a Birthday message from The Commandant, General James T. Conway. Semper Fi.

What's on TV? Part 1: New Shows

Fall TV as it's known in the states, debuted about 6/7 weeks ago and it's time to examine what's working or what should't be on at all if necessary.

V [ABC]

I'm going to start with something that has just appeared right now on screens accross the globe - [well it was on ABC in the US on Tuesday and was on TV3 here last night] - I speak of the remake of the classic 1983 TV series V. A post 9/11 ultra-paranoid world in the grip of an economic crisis is the perfect time for the Vs to visit us again spreading messages of peace and change and offering universal healthcare [I'm not joking, they actually say it]. It borrows from its progenator in that it's not a special effects laden extravaganza but a fightening warning against misplaced devotion and I'll certainly be paying visits to it's subsequent 3 episodes before it goes to full series.

Starring: Elizabeth Mitchell, Morris Chestnut, Joel Gretsch, Scott Wolf and Morena Baccarin as Anna.

US ABC - Tuesday @ 20:00; EIRE TV3 - Thursday @ 22:00; UK SyFy Jan 2010

****1/2


Flashforward [ABC]

An order for a full 25 episodes means ABC feels good enough about Brannon Star Trek: Voyager Braga and David S. Blade Goyer's unique vision of a world in the aftermath of the greatest disaster in history and has also witnessed it's own future; specifically 137 seconds of what they will be doing on April 29th 2010. In the past few weeks FBI agent Mark Benford has set about uncovering evidence of the cause of the disaster, evidence he knows he will find because he's already seen it in the future, and may even be killed for it.

Starring: Joseph Fiennes, John Cho, Sonya Walger, Jack Davenport and Courtney B. Vance as FBI Assistant Director Stanford Wedeck

US ABC - Thursday's @ 20:00; UK/EIRE Channel 5 - Monday @ 21:00

****1/2

NCIS: Los Angeles [CBS]

Airing right after the stalwart NCIS is its new spin off NCIS: Los Angeles. The series centers on the NCIS OSP - Office of Special Projects who assume false identities and utilise the most advanced technology to go deep undercover to apprehend dangerous criminals that pose a threat to national security. Special Agent: G. Callen is the undercover expert who together with Navy S.E.A.L. Iraq vet Special Agent Sam Hanna and their team put their lives on the line in the field to bring down their targets.

starring: Chris O'Donnell, LL Cool J, Peter Cambor, Daniela Ruah and Linda Hunt as Operations Manager Henrietta "Hetty" Lange.

***1/2

US CBS Tuesday @ 21:00; US UK/EIRE Sky One, Wednesday @ 21:00


SGU: Stargate Universe [Syfy]

The 3rd series in one of the most enduring science fiction franchises ever. SGU is radically different from previous shows in that it's more like the premise of Star Trek: Voyager with the grittiness, darkness and reality of Battlestar Galactica but it's the Stargate setting that makes this work - as unlike Trek or BSG - no one here knows what the fuck is going on or how they're going to get home. 4 weeks in and they've only met one alien, they've not even found a single planet that looks like British Columbia! Brilliant! Big hiatus until Spring 2010 after episode 10 but that's a common thing now with Syfy's shows.

Starring: Robert Carlyle, Louis Ferreira, Brian J. Smith, David Blue, Alaina Huffman and guest starring Lou Diamond Philips as Colonel David Telford.

US SyFy, Friday 21:00; UK/EIRE Sky One, Tuesday @ 20:00


****


The Vampire Dairies [The CW]

Angsty diary-obsessed high school girl falls in love with brooding diary-obsessed vampire. This is everything Twilight seems to be, just on TV and everything True Blood isn't. This is what I was thinking of when I said "shouldn't be on TV at all" above. Avoid.

Starring: Who cares

*

And the winner of the Hallowe'en Baby Costume is...

The Alien Chestburster Baby

Source: scifiwire.com

Could astronauts fly TIE Fighters to Mars?

A joint NASA/Canadian venture - a new ion engine, raises the revolutionary possibility that a manned trip to Mars could take less than 90 days instead of two years.

Ion propulsion, previously theorised only in the realm of science fiction since the '60's Star Trek series and well known propultion system of the imperial TIE [Twin Ion Engine] Fighter from Star Wars. But now mankind itself is close to the point where it could be tested on a flight to the moon, according to a veteran Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield.

“This engine is ... going to be tested on the ISS, launched about 2013,” Hadfield said. “It turns electrical power into thrust so that we can use solar energy to power a spaceship."

Theoretically a craft powered by this engine would take 40 days to reach Mars, compared to six months by conventional rocket power. As Mars and Earth only pass close together every two years, scientists assume a crew could travel one way, wait a year, then fly back the next time the planets were close together. The engine would accelerate a spaceship until it's halfway to Mars, producing a tiny stream of argon gas that it fires out the rear of the spacecraft. Then it turns the engine around and decelerates until reaching Mars.

Read all about it here.

Source: Canada.com / Astrarocket.com / Eamo

Far Cry 2: A far cry from Far Cry

At sunrise, I retrieved my pistol, rifle and machine gun from my weapons locker and left the safe house at the edge of a vast desert. I picked up ammunition and explosives that one of my buddies had conveniently left just outside the door. A sturdy Jeep waited for me on the path, it’s previous owner was presumably now a dead carcass providing breakfast for hungry vultures. I recalled the previous night’s events; he should have just driven on by me but no, he had to turn around and chased me along the jungle road until he caught up with me and forced me off into a tree. By the time he was out of his car I had grabbed my truck’s mounted machine gun and unloaded almost 30 rounds into his mass. Just as well the truck had a mounted weapon as my small arms ammo was either spent or my weapons had degraded and broken apart earlier. I picked up his AK47 as one doesn't leave a working firearm on the ground [especially if your own weapons are gone] and took his Jeep as I wasn’t going to stick around so near to a guard post repairing my truck.

Now I drove along the dusty brown road at sunrise and I spotted a cell tower near the side of a hill, I manoeuvred my Jeep off the road and up the access path to the rusty tower, starkly alien to the trees and sheer cliff face. I abandoned my Jeep at the foot of the hill and went up to the tower’s control box at it’s base. I managed to intercept a transmission from an obviously electronically distorted voice who told me that there was an available target of opportunity in the area and that I was to eliminate them. The standard payment in rough diamonds would be paid into my account on completion. I pulled out my map and GPS locator and saw that the target’s co-ordinates had been added to my map which covered 25km2 of Burka Sako, the Northern District [of a diplomatically unnamed country]. Unfortunately it was some distance away, it would take a while to drive all that way which I could but the roads were filled with fighters from both sides of this lawless war-torn African country, and I’d get nailed for sure more then once before reaching my objective. So instead, I made my way to a bus station.

As it’s much slower, and presumably makes quite a few stops on the way; the bus journey took half a day. Strangely I didn’t even know the time had passed even though the ride was uneventful. Were it not for the obvious signs of the sun beginning to set I’d have assumed it took mere seconds. The bus stop at which I was eventually dropped was very close to my objective [and someone had left a car there]. I could see from my GPS that my mark was near an airfield. The contours on my map indicated hills to the South and West of the airfield but either too sheer or to far away from the target to get a good shot. There was however some sand dunes to the East where I could set up my Dragunov SVD sniper rifle and take out my target with a clear path to freedom should I stir up a hornet’s nest.

By the time I reached the dunes, I noticed that the target was moving. He was in a black SUV led and flanked by assault trucks. I was expecting maybe a few mercs guarding a stationery target – not this. I’d have to rethink my tactics on the fly and hope things didn’t go tits up like last time when I took out a mark in the centre of the ceasefire zone in the town of Pala. All three vehicles were in my line of sight now; tracking a moving target on a winding road was difficult enough – hitting one was another matter entirely. If I got the mark, sitting in the rear of the SUV, I’d be well pleased with myself, but at 6-700m away it was unlikely, even by someone with my considerable skill. No sooner I’d have either succeeded or missed, the boys on their assault trucks would close the distance and pepper me good. A better tactic would be to take out them first, then concentrate on the SUV.

My first shot missed. It guess wasn't unexpected, but the next shot found it's mark. This took out the driver of the tail truck. It disappeared behind a mound – it either toppled over or went into the river, I couldn’t see, but I know it was the last I saw of it or it’s occupants. I don’t think the other vehicle occupants were paying too much attention to their rear view mirrors, because I didn’t observe any change to the direction, speed or driving pattern, of the other vehicles; everything seemed copasetic to them. How wrong they would be. My third shot obliterated the head of the lead truck driver, the rest of him fell out and the truck stopped dead. I lined up my fourth shot to take out the rear gunner before he got a bead on me, he’d have seen my muzzle flash, but this guy was a slippery customer. I knew I had missed as soon as I pulled the trigger. Quick as a flash, the gunner had slid down to the driving seat and was undoubtedly getting the truck in motion again, to make matters worse – the SUV had changed direction and was driving away from my position at full speed – this was not good. I couldn’t see him but I was sure the driver was on the left as I lined up my fifth shot. It missed, as did my sixth. The range between me and the SUV was growing; by the time I ran back to my vehicle, my mark would surely be – LUCAS! Then I got the shock of my life: the lead assault truck was making its way up the fucking dune – its driver determined to run me over! This was terrible [and fantastic at the same time]. My seventh shot shattered the windscreen of the truck and hit maniacal motorist, but it wasn't until my eighth shot hit him in the face that he slumped out of the vehicle as it came to a stop mere inches from me. I jumped into the driver’s seat and sped off after the SUV.

I caught up with the SUV soon enough as it neared a tree line [I'm an elite driver]. I managed to steer alongside it and the sides of the vehicles clashed with sparks and the sound of metallic grinding. I eventually managed to steer the other driver into a tree with a loud crash. I brought my own vehicle to a stop and got out bringing my PKM Light Machine Gun to bear on the SUV, but the driver was quicker and was already spewing hot lead in my direction from his HK G3A4 Assault Rifle. I ducked behind my truck shielding myself from the 7.62mm ammo. From my cover I lobbed out a fragmentation grenade which exploded sending my would-be assailant flying over my trucks bonnet, a lifeless ragdoll. I broke my cover and closed on the SUV, my vision obscured by the fire I started – the flames lapped at the SUV – and I knew from previous experience that the vehicle was seconds from exploding! It was time to run again. I was maybe 20 meters away when I heard the SUV explode behind me; I turned in time to see the remains of its chassis inconveniently land on my own truck, which too would now soon explode. But I wasn’t going to wait around for the fireworks, I apparently still had a man to kill as according to my GPS, he had slipped out of the SUV as his bodyguard was keeping me pinned.

I caught up with my mark on an open plain where a herd of zebras grazed. I opened up with my LMG and he began moving erratically and made for a tree stump. The zebras scattered at the sound of my gunfire and I began shooting at the stump. I felt all-powerful and cocky now; there was no escape for this man. I began swapping out my empty ammo belt but my mark popped out from behind the stump and took a few pot-shots at me with a Star .45. My arrogance disappeared as a round embedded itself in my thigh with a splash of red. He was certainly not waiting for me to let loose with my LMG again either because he bolted for the tree line. There would be plenty of obstacles to protect him there and from which to blast at me with his pistol. That was… if I let him.

My mark was too far away from me now to accurately hit with my LMG so I unshouldered my Dragunov again and peered at him though its scope. I prefer the crosshairs style to the Ruskies “chevrons”, but beggars can’t be choosers in this cursed land. I spent about a dozen rough diamonds on this the best one in the arms store and it wasn’t going to let me down. My ninth and final sniper shot of the day took down a running target at 100m. I breathed a sigh of relief as I reached for my tweezers to agonizingly pry the bullet out from my thigh and patch myself up. Now to get out of here, a sheer cliff face was to my right, behind me - an endless arid desert. To my left a raging brush fire [that I started] had enveloped trees near the remains of the vehicles. There was for once, only one direction I could go here - forward; to eventually find The Jackal and put an end to the war destroying this land… …by any means necessary.

You may be forgiven for thinking that this is a chapter from my memoirs but it is in fact an account of a single one-hour session of playing Far Cry 2 and I think that it is a perfect way of reviewing a game like this where everyone’s experience will be different – there is very little or no scripting here – the level of detail I describe is all in the game - the actions of the enemies are all the AI, meaning that my experience will most likely not happen to you at any point in the game, or you may experience a some of these elements, but never exactly as with many other shooters. Some aspects generally happen as I describe - you steal and drive cars or boats through all the climates on the African continent condensed into two 25km2 regions in a free open game world as you collect diamonds to buy a wide range of small arms and explosive weapons to carry out assassination, destruction, courier or rescue missions anywhere within that world. You make few friends as practically everyone else you meet is billigerant and gunning for you. The buddies you do meet [like Nazreen - pictured here] will pull your fat out of the fire, and help you especially if you help them. You can carry three weapons but you must keep them maintained by replacing them with new ones from a gun store or they will jam and eventually break as readily as the crap weapons you pick up from fallen foes. Your map and GPS make sure you never get lost , only occasionally taking a wrong turn if you're not paying attention. The GPS will also reveal hidden diamond treasures. The graphics are on par with Crysis but are much warmer in tone and more varied in scope. I guarantee you, you will spend hours just marvelling at the scenery, expertly crafted with flora and fauna of Africa. High-Range Dynamic Lighting effects were practically invented for this game where the blistering sun will cross the sky casting a long shadow as you travel away from it or blind you as you face it. Survival isn’t easy, you need to get medicine to heal yourself once you’ve pried the bullets from your flesh and need copious amounts of malaria pills to prevent the disease’s debilitating attacks. The odds are against you, and you’ve no superpowers, air support, flashlight, night-vision, nano-suit or even sunglasses,. What chance do you have? But still, you must kill The Jackal, the scumbag who has armed both sides of the war. Then perhaps you can die in peace…

Final Verdict: Far Cry 2 is not the progeny of it's predecessor, it's connection to the original is in name only. Even by sticking to the main "quest" missions you're still going to need about 20 hours to complete it but double that if you take on missions of opportunity or side missions for more money and arms. Enemies are unrealistically difficult to kill, encouraging headshots all the time and you in contrast can be instantly killed if tipped by a moving car. Nevertheless this is graphically impressive, atmospheric, tactical FPS that sets the bar for the open world shooter. Highly recommended!

Colonel Creedon Rating: ****1/2